I NEED TO GET SICK BY TOMORROW MORNING?

alright . heres the deal . i need to get sick in the next hour . somehow . it doesnt matter, flu , anything . ive tried salt water, and oj and milk mixed together . nothing happened . i have no spoiled food . and ya ya ya i know im already sick in the head blah blah blah i just need the day off tomorow, so dont gimme any of that im crazy crap , ok ? thanks ,.